BrOwnIcOle wAndeRiNg Up thE clOuD

看著廊上曾經每天必經的路線
隱約描繪出有你身型的空人影
你的笑語動作曾深深牽引我心
我曾輕捧著它安心的駐足停留
卻發現全是傻瓜般的一廂情願

突然我醒了.....

在遭受不對等的付出以及無情對待二個月後，我在今晚終於肯面對事實的告訴自己他不值得我如此掏心掏肺地付出，與佔據我的心跟時間。

我知道他其實只是在應付我吧，過去的這幾週，陪我講電話，陪我聊天，在在都表明了他不想當壞人，想維持良好關係。
不過說話成分真實性有多少，又是另當別論。

只怪我太傻，天真到相信他說的一切， 以及他所表現出來地溫柔。

在偽裝自己的同時，我學會了更加堅強。

男人丫，請不要怪我心狠手辣無血無情，因為現在的我是你們一手打造出來的.....

好久沒有這樣無心思做任何事了
知道自己的思緒完全在一個人身上
無形的緊緊的 牽扯在他身上
雖然他並不知道那條線的存在或根本不想拉著那條線

因為他對我的不理睬
或是他無心情放在我身上
現階段只有開創新工作與生病的家人
在在都使我不情願的接受卻又受傷之深
即使我早在開始時就知道我們是沒有結果的
卻還是這樣毫無心機的毫無防備的跌進
孤獨地跌進那自以為是的感情深淵

明明知道是無結果的沒有未來的
為何我還不保護好自己的心
讓它這樣輕易被挑逗被玩弄被傷害
才不過短短三個月

只因我做事就是這樣不顧一切勇往直前
爭取了是我的我就成功
不是我的就讓自己承認失敗受傷
休息一陣子相信心會自己癒合

只是不知癒合的程度是否完整
也不知再愛人的能力會不會退化
我會認命也會勇敢接受結果
畢竟這就是人生

如果做任何事都畏畏縮縮怕東怕西
導致最後渾渾噩噩渡過一生
最終只有後悔陪伴
我知道這不會是我想要過的日子
不如就放手去做隨心所欲吧~~

At my previous job:
9:00pm, I m heading home
directly from the office because of the whole day working exhaustion.

At my current job:
9:00pm, I m heading home
after watching a movie with friends after work
after a swimming lesson after work
after a nice dinner with friends after work
after a nice haircut for a date tomorrow after work

Within the two-three hours difference, I could do so many things after work, what the hell I wanna stay in the office doing unreasonable straggling with no extra pay but a terrible take-out-dinner or maybe only hunger.

so, what's not to like "my current job"??!!

After moved back from New York City for over a year, changed two jobs and traveled for business or personal several times for the past year, I think time really flies freaking fast...

I know I like to travel, but since I moved back, I went to BKK, Phuket Island and Phi Phi island(Thailand), Seoul(Korea), Kyoto and Osaka(Japan), Baracay(Philippines) and skiing (Japan) within 13 months for my personal pleasure. For biz, I went to Tokyo twice(May and Nov), Beijing(Sep) and Europe(Oct) in a 10 months job that I worked for.

Eight travels in a year.... People would say it's too much travel that is required from a job, but I loved it.... I love getting to the airport and get myself ready for an adventure for no matter what reason to travel. I think I was born to travel around the world. I can't stay in the same city for so long that have to getaway from it once in a while.

I always think in my blood, I do have some sort of genes that are unstable, that are always looking for some craziness, that are searching for fun or whatsoever.

Hope soon, I could pack my bag and get ready for another adventure.

me........ got an raise today, after 5 months crazily working for the nuts, finally got a lit paid off and make me feeling better...

Somehow, I wonder... does ppl need so much luxury things that you would never have a chance or time to use it nor to do it.

Last Sunday, I quitted my job in the afternoon through phone call to my boss, why that hurried, it's Sunday, right?!!

The truth is, I had been working for the job on Saturday and Sunday, since we got some business partners visiting Taiwan from Japan the coming Monday. That two days, I turned on my laptop after I woke up and started making phone calls or sending emails to Japan. In the evening of Sat, before I entering a restaurant that was a family dinner to celebrating my niece's birthday, I got a phone call from my boss again. Then in that half an hour, I had to walk in and out of the restaurant to deal with things that my boss had me to do, since our table had NO Bars that can't make any phone calls or receive.

On Sunday, after making so many phone calls, I took a rest and went to kitchen to have lunch with my family. After I finished it, got back to my room and receive the phone call that my boss just made. He blamed me that I did not make the phone call to make changes with the driver, which I have not called him but will do in the next couple of minutes. He hung up right away after that said sentence with I can't even do the small things. I.... me.... speechless and then a fire from my heart came right up to my brain. I can't take it no more, I've been working for you like this, and he blamed me for this freaking little tiny phone call that I have yet to call.

So I called him right back, he did not pick up the first call, but the second. I asked if he really thinks I can't even do things right, he say yeah, then I said, well... then it would be better if I quit the job since you think I ain't qualify at all. He said FINE, and then I ended up by saying I will go to office on Monday and pack my stuffs.

After an hour, he called back, I don't want to answer it. Started feeling better just by saying I quit, feel the world is so pretty, the sky is so blue, the weather is so great and so on.

I went out, to do my pedicure as I made the appointment days ago, trying to shop, but ain't got anything. I made the call back to my boss like two hours later, he wanted me to go to office on Monday and we will talk from there.... I decided to give him a chance.

But still, I bought a bottle of white wine and back home after finished my pedicure, had a nice dinner with my family and requested them to have a drink with me. It was also my little cute niece's 10 yo birthday, so we also celebrated it with a homemade bake passion fruit chocolate cake in the shape of a horse.

What an interesting weekend!!